Avengers: I'm A Lost Cause
by IBegToDreamAndDiffer
Summary: It's Thor who figures out the truth. Dark!Tony. Mild violence.


**Author's Note:**

 **Pairing:** Tony Stark/Loki

 **Warnings:** Mild violence, mild language, dark!Tony

 **Disclaimer:** The world and characters of The Avengers belong to Marvel. I own nothing but the plot and make no money from this story.

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Tony hadn't expected his day to start with Thor grabbing him by the neck and tossing him to the floor. But like with everything life threw at him, he just went with it. He was coughing and spluttering on the floor, head already throbbing and palms aching from trying to soften his landing, when Thor grabbed him by the back of the shirt and lifted him up. He easily held Tony on the tips of his toes, thick fingers digging into the human's neck.

'Okay... this is... new,' Tony choked out.

'You are working with Loki!' Thor hissed.

… huh.

'I could sense his magic in this room!' Thor spat. 'I traced it and found the two of you together. You have betrayed your shield-brothers and Director Fury. And for what?' He shook Tony and the genius' head throbbed again. It was getting more and more difficult to drag air into his lungs, Thor's hold on his neck getting tighter and tighter. 'For what, Man of Iron?' Thor demanded. 'What has Loki promised you?'

Tony tried to talk around the pressure in his throat; 'Not much,' he grunted. 'Promised me a... few good...' Thor's grip finally eased just a bit and Tony sucked in lungfuls of air. His thoughts were sluggish and he tried to push them along; had Thor alerted the Avengers? Were they on their way? How long did Tony have until-

'STARK!'

Tony grinned widely at him. 'Loki promised me a good fuck!'

Thor roared.

'Jesus, take a chill pill,' Tony wheezed.

Thor growled at him and pulled Tony closer to hiss in his face; 'Do not jest, Stark. I know what you are.'

Tony took a deep breath, then another, made sure that his lungs were full before...

He smirked and Thor frowned. 'No, Thor,' Tony said. 'You _really_ don't.' He lashed out, jammed his knee into Thor's stomach. The sudden movement, as well as the strength behind the kick, made Thor drop Tony, who quickly scampered back. Unfortunately Thor would always be stronger than him, and in no time the blond had recovered and was marching towards him. Still, Tony was quicker.

He ducked each swing of Thor's hammer, the strap barely keeping it within Thor's fingertips. Every time he missed the Thunder God snarled and snapped like a sick dog, blue eyes flashing and cape twisting around his large frame. Tony couldn't outrun him forever and only got a few powerful hits in himself before Thor's hammer caught him in the shoulder.

It sent Tony flying back and through the glass walls of his penthouse. Three windows shattered beneath his weight, shards raining down on Tony as he hit the balcony and skidded back. He managed to cover his face, keep his eyes squeezed shut, and as soon as he came to a stop he scrambled to his feet and backed up.

Thor stalked him out onto the helipad, eyes narrowed when Tony finally stopped.

Tony could feel the wounds on his face and arms healing, the skin stitching itself back together. Already the ache in his shoulder was dulling, like Tony had suffered the hammer hit days ago rather than seconds.

'You...' Thor breathed before he realised what he was truly dealing with. 'My brother has made you a god.'

'Gave me a little tablet from your old man's vault,' Tony grinned. 'Ever heard of the Elixir of Immortality?' He wiggled his eyebrows and started moving again, eyes on Thor the entire time. 'Not that this hasn't been fun, Bolt, but I gotta run.'

'Stop!' Thor ordered. 'You will pay for your misdeeds, Man of Iron! The Avengers will see you punished for your betrayal!'

Laughing, Tony shouted, 'Yeah, good luck with that!' just before he threw himself off of his Tower. Thor chased after him but was bowled over by one of Tony's Iron Man suits, the sleek box racing to meet Tony. When Thor raised Mjölnir, ready to follow, an alarm suddenly started blaring from within the penthouse. The god turned just in time to see three Iron Man suits, all painted various colours, flying towards him. He got his hammer up when the first repulsor blast hit, deflecting it with Mjölnir before he tossed himself to the side to avoid another battle.

Tony shot into the air in his Iron Man suit, JARVIS informing him that only Thor had entered Stark Tower, which was now in lockdown. SHIELD was headed his way, though, and announced their presence a few seconds later when a quinjet tried to shoot Tony down. JARVIS warned him in time and Tony weaved around the plane, ducking a barrage of machine gun fire before he got beneath it.

Raising his gauntlets, Tony fired quickly and lethally; he'd designed the quinjet, he knew where its weaknesses were.

He flew out from beneath the aeroplane and watched it careen towards the ground; it hit a building before it could reach the street, an explosion of glass and fire blasting out of the floor it had crashed into.

' _Incoming projectile_ ,' JARVIS announced just before Tony was hit. Something to his right exploded and Tony spun through the air, barely managing to right himself before another explosion sent him flying up, zig-zagging, JARVIS looking for-

'There,' Tony breathed when his suit locked onto Barton, the archer standing atop a building near Stark Tower. Tony growled and was about to head for him when another quinjet appeared, then another, another; six, now, all heading for him, twisting around the tall buildings to get to him.

'JARVIS, where's Loki?' Tony asked as he deactivated his repulsors, dropping suddenly behind a building. He waited until he was street-level before shooting off again, weaving between buildings, the quinjets shooting over him.

' _Unknown, sir_ ,' JARVIS replied.

Tony scowled. 'Great. Just like that bastard to take off when the Avengers finally catch on.'

' _Quinjet six feet to your left in three... two... one_ -'

Tony's armour slid up at the shoulder, a missile launching just as the quinjet tore around the building. It didn't manage to get away in time, and Tony turned his back on the explosion, on the sudden screaming as the plane took out everything in the street beneath it.

Bullets tore up the asphalt before him and Tony shot back into the air, weaving once more to avoid the bullets that could easily tear through his armour if he was hit enough. He blasted another quinjet out of the air, tricked a third into flying straight into a building. There were still half a dozen of the damn things, and Tony wondered if Fury had sent all of them after him.

He was cornered eventually between two skyscrapers, pre-cast concrete walls on either side. Tony raised his gauntlets and the three quinjets before him aimed their machine guns.

And then an amplified voice; ' _Give up, Stark. You can't get out of this alive_.'

Tony squinted at the closest plane. 'Romanov, is that you?' he asked, voice amplified to be heard. 'Or Rogers? Please tell me that Fury sent his pets after me, I've been waiting to play with you.'

' _Stark_ -'

The voice cut off when the quinjet closest to the ground simply fell out of the sky. It didn't exploded, just crumpled into the side of the building like a child's discarded toy. Tony frowned at it before his eyes flicked back up-

He had to laugh. With a burst of green magic Loki had appeared in one of the quinjets, his daggers making quick work of the SHIELD agents within. He disappeared when it started to drop and re-appeared beside Tony, only to teleport the two out of the alley and atop the building beside them. The quinjet dropped, hit the ground hard, and the third one spun away.

'Where the fuck have you been?' Tony demanded.

'Around,' Loki drawled. 'I didn't expect the mortals to catch on _quite_ this quickly.'

'It was Thor,' Tony revealed, then explained what had happened when Loki just stared at him, face incredulous.

'Hmm,' Loki hummed when Tony was done. 'So he _has_ learned.'

'We should kill him first,' Tony said. 'If he can track you that well, he'll be too problematic.'

Loki smirked darkly. 'That pleasure belongs to me, Anthony. You have fun with some of the others.'

'Oh, I've been waiting to rip Barton's fingers off,' Tony laughed. 'I think I'll take Rogers next.'

Loki's fingers brushed along Tony's faceplate, but neither god said anything; Loki held out a hand, his sceptre appeared, and Tony said, 'Kisses!' just before he launched himself off of the building, immediately banking right. Loki's laughter followed him into his next fight.

* * *

 _End._

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 **Author's Note:** I was cruising Tumblr at 3am, as you do, and saw a gif where Thor was holding Tony up by the neck. And suddenly I'm writing this random drabble. This doesn't tie into any of my other fics. I just thought of the conversation between Tony and Thor and the rest was me rambling.

Cheers!

IBegToDreamAndDiffer


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